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It was a quiet night as Ariel walked home from a late dinner. She had eaten by herself while Mike and Rainie were on their first date. Lord knows when they were going to come back. From the nonstop giggling and canoodling they had done, Ariel was pretty sure they weren’t coming home anytime soon. Again, Ariel would have to accompany herself during those late nights at theYang household, seeing as she couldn’t even get a word in with Rainie’s father, all the same with Rainie. So this time, she decided to go out.
As she twirled her purse around in her fingers and swinging it back and forth, Ariel thought about Rainie and Mike; how they were constantly smiling at each other, holding each other close and actually appearing happy. So unlike herself. If anything, she was bored to tears. What to do next?
“PPSSTTTT!” whispered something in the air.
“Huh?” Ariel said.
“Hey!” it called again.
“Who is that?” Ariel asked herself.
“It’s me,” it whispered back.
“‘It’ who?” she asked.
“Me! Behind the bush,” she heard it say.
She peered behind a low bush in front of a diner and saw Joe hunched over with greenery camouflage all over his body, green and black face paint.
“Joe?” she asked.
“SHHH!!” he whispered back.
He pulled her into the bush and gestured her to hush her mouth as he handed her a pair of binoculars.
“What are you wearing?” she asked cautiously.
“I’m in disguise,” he answered.
“You look like a house plant. What did you do, ransack the army?” she laughed.
“Don’t laugh too hard, I got one in your size,” he replied sternly.
“Why?” she asked suspiciously.
“We’re breaking up Mike and Rainie,” he said bluntly.
“What! No!” she said exasperated. “I thought we discussed this already. We weren’t going to interfere with the relationship.”
“Yeah, I know we did,” he said as he nodded his head. “But that was before the new revelation.”
“What revelation?” she asked softly.
“The revelation of…” he said before peering at every corner making sure no one could hear them. “…of double dating.”
“Double dating!?” she whispered loudly.
Now that was a revelation indeed.
“HUSH!” he gestured at her again. “Everyone knows that as couples keep progressing, they’re gonna get bored and soon they want to hang with other couples. Since they don’t know any couples…they are gonna make us go out with each other! We can’t let them win!”
“No way,” Ariel said completely ignoring his reasoning. “They’d never do that.”
“Oh yeah?” Joe smirked. “Just wait till Rainie asks to hang out: ‘just the two of you’. You’ll have some laughs, watch a movie and link arms like old times. And as soon as you can say ‘Lord please save me’ the next person holding your arm won’t be Rainie, but me!”
“So instead of trusting my best-friend’s judgment, you want me to go along with you; a man dressed as shrubbery?” she asked sarcastically, pointing at his ridiculous outfit.
“IT’S JUST A DISGUISE!” he answered back.
“Well whatever you are,” she hissed. “I trust Rainie enough to believe that she would never put me into that situation.”
“Fine, if you’re not going to help me break them up for that, help me break them up for driving me insane,” he said pointing his finger at her. “I’m not going through another day with their little kissy faces and gross mannerisms! If Mike tries to kiss me again, so he can show me exactly how Rainie kisses, I’m gonna punch him in the face!”
“Well what are you going to do?” she curiously asked.
“I’m going to pour water all over them and ruin their night,” he said patting at the buckets of water.
“Oh that’s mature,” she laughed. “What are you five? That’s not going to ruin their night.”
Joe took a bucket and doused Ariel with a bucket full of water.
“HEY! What was that for!?” she whispered loudly.
“Are you mad?” he asked. “You feel like you want to pummel me and nothing else?”
“YES!” she screamed.
“See, night ruined,” he pointed out.
Ariel was about to slap Joe upside the head, but something caught her eye. Unexpectedly they see a couple coming out of the diner.
“Is that them?” Ariel asked Joe.
“Yeah, hold these binoculars,” he said rummaging through his bag. “Ok, I’m going in for the kill!”
“Wait Joe, they’re not…” Ariel tried to explain but was too late.
As soon as Joe walked out onto the street, with his buckets of water, he pours them onto the couple, drenching them from head to toe. Ariel ran out of the bushes but it was too late.
“…that’s not Mike and Rainie,” Ariel said wincing.
“WHAT THE HELL!” screamed the man.
“What is your problem…bush man?” the woman asked. “What are you?”
The man and the woman weren’t sure if they were supposed to be confused or angry. But one thing was for sure. As Joe realized his mistake, he widened his eyes and took a deep breathe…
Fast as their legs could push them, they raced back to Joe’s apartment, hoping that not only were the couple not following them, but hopefully neither were the cops.
“Geez! Never again!” Joe said exasperated. “I’m taking this thing off right now.”
“Here give me the keys,” Ariel asked.
But as soon as they get into the apartment they see clothes all over the floor and giggling coming out of Mike’s room.
Joe and Ariel rush to the door and listen as more and more noises came out.
“GO ARIEL, SAVE MIKE FROM THE DEVIL!” Joe screamed.
“Mike? Rainie’s almost certainly defenseless against Mike!” she said worriedly. “Who knows what Mike could be doing to her?”
“Stop Rainie!” they heard Mike say. “It hurts, it hurts!”
“OH, MY GOD! She’s torturing him!” Joe yelled. “Ariel! Save my best friend!”
“You’re overreacting!” Ariel said nervously. “Let’s think this through calmy, rationally…”
“No Mike, NO!” they heard Rainie scream.
“GO SAVE RAINIE!!!” Ariel said pushing Joe to the door.
“Stop shoving! I’m not fighting the devil!” he shook his head.
“SAVE HER!!” Ariel screamed.
“Rock, paper, scissors!” Joe screamed. “The person who wins, doesn’t have to save them!”
They point their hands in front and anxiously await their fate.
“Rock, Paper, Scissors!!!” they screamed.
“Rock, Paper, Scissors!!!” they screamed again.
“Rock, Paper, Scissors!!!” they screamed once more.
Tie once more.
“Stop Rainie, I can’t breathe!” Mike laughed.
“That’s it, no more wasting time,” Joe nodded at himself. “I’m coming to save ya!”
Joe took a step backwards and rushed his elbow towards the door only to have it already whip open and have him fly over the bed. Rainie and Mike, who were fully clothed and had innocently played a tickling game, looked at each other quizzically.
“JOE!” both Rainie and Mike yelled.
“AHHH!” he yelled back as he landed on the other side of the bed.
“I knew it,” Rainie nodded. “You are a peeping tom!”
Joe got himself, an dragged his hurt body off from the ground and pointed to the door.
“OUT!” he screamed. “Out! Out! Out!”
“Mike doesn’t want me to leave,” Rainie smiled. “Right Mike?”
“Whatever you say,” he said dreamily.
“Oh he wants you out!” Ariel said dragging Rainie out of the room. “What were you doing in there?”
“We just came back from dinner and we were teasing each other, that’s all,” Rainie replied. “Nothing happened. He started tickling me, I tickled him back. We were just having a bit of fun.”
“You are never leaving my side you hear me little missy!” Ariel said pointing at Rainie’s face. “Never again! Let’s go!”
“Wait, I haven’t said goodbye to Mike yet,” Rainie pouted.
Rainie rushed to Mike’s side and wrapped her arms around her as he took her waist.
“See ya tomorrow?” she asked sweetly.
“Sure,” he replied.
She kissed him goodbye and Mike was right back to being punch drunk. It was something about her kiss that seemed to have melted him into a pile of mush every time. Rainie smiled and turned to Ariel.
“You know, we should hang out more often, just one on one. We need a girl’s night out soon,” she said kindly.
“Oh HELL NO!” Ariel screamed as she pushed her out the door.
As the door closes behind Rainie and Ariel, Mike turned around to go back into his bedroom but instead faced Joe’s index finger.
“Explain!” he said sternly.
“It was magical! If I weren’t dating Rainie, I’d let you kiss her yourself! You want me to show you!?” he asked quickly.
Just then Joe’s eyes widened. He’s been here before…
“Oh no! Mike control yourself!” he screamed.
Mike puckered his lips and lunged himself at Joe with his eyes closed ready to kiss him just as Rainie did moments ago. They struggle to the side as Mike jumps on Joe and forces his kiss.
“MIKE!!!” Joe screamed as he tried to get Mike off of him
“It’ll only take a minute!” Mike said with his eyes still closed.
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