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Chapter 31

The whole restaurant was stunned. Whispers of disapproval and excitement roamed through every table. Mike, Rainie and her father were just staring intently, in utter shock of such a development. They didn’t even notice Ariel’s annoyed expression clearly written all across her face.

“He proposed to Joe but not to me!?” Ariel angrily thought to herself. “That son of a b-

“PLEASE!” Peter begged for Joe.

“I can’t marry you!” Joe refused.

“Why not?!” He pressured on.

“Wait,” Rainie interrupted him, making her way into their conversation. “You want to marry…her?”

“I’m so sorry Rainie, but yes,” he said frankly. “She is the perfect woman for me. She has everything; Intellect, grace, and beauty. I believe that I am truly in love.”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING????” Joe yelled at him. “I JUST met you!”

“I love it when you’re angry!” Peter growled.

Hastily, Joe pulls Rainie in front of him for protection as he points to Peter and says “you handle this.”

“ME?!? Why me?!” Rainie asked, pushing him back.

Rainie’s father couldn’t take it. What was happening to his brilliant plan?

“Peter, you have promised to marry my daughter and only her! You can’t suddenly…”

“Shh!” Mike hushed him. “This is just getting good!”

Rainie, Joe and Peter were having a heated argument over this new development and Ariel was about to explode! How could Peter fall in love with Joe? Of all people! Joe. JOE CHENG! WHAT!??

“You cannot marry her,” Rainie ordered at Peter. “Trust me, if you wanted me to be sincere for once, this is the time and I’m being as sincere as possible. You do not want to marry…her.”

“I don’t care what you say,” Peter shook his head. “She is the one. There is nothing you can say that will change my mind.”

“I’m a man!” Joe suddenly screamed. “ALL MAN!”

The restaurant was filled with gasps from every corner.

“I don’t believe you,” Peter said firmly.

Just then a clear idea came out of Joe’s head. It was quite vulgar, but it’ll do the trick. He dug into his chest for a small pillow he used to stuff his bra and slapped it onto Peter’s face. The crowd gasped some more.

“Believe me now?” Joe grinned with confidence.

“I’ve seen smaller,” Peter scoffed.

“What the hell did that mean?” Ariel thought as she examined her own body.

“Show him Joe!” screamed Rainie.

“What do you want me to do, whip it out in front of all these people!?” he whispered to her harshly.

“Well do something!” she nudged back.

“You can’t prove it, can you?” Peter slyly remarked. “I knew it. If you truly were a man, you wouldn’t look that way you do.”

Of course Joe took offense to this remark. He turned his head slowly at Peter, and looked at him up and down.

“Excuse you?” Joe said in a low tone.

“Oooh, he shouldn’t have said that,” Mike remarked out loud. This wasn’t gonna end pretty.

“You have the gentle demeanor of feminine beauty and delicate features that compliment your every move,” Peter said lovingly.

“Oh!” Joe nodded happily. “Wait…”

“Are you high?” Rainie said to Peter sarcastically.

“I’m perfectly fine,” he replied. “Just in love.”

“I am a lesbian!” Joe screamed.

Another gasp from the audience came roaring in.

“Oh SHUT UP!” Rainie sighed furiously.

“But it’s the truth! I like women!” Joe logically deduced.

“That’s OK, so do I,” Peter reasoned.

Both Joe and Rainie stared at Peter with their eyes bulged out and hands out in the open, as if they were prying for Peter to understand the predicament he is in.

“Do you not see the FLAW within that argument?!!” Joe asked angrily.

Mike and Rainie’s father however, were too busy snacking away at their food, and listening intently at the whole conversation as if it were play.

“Wait,” Rainie’s father said to Mike. “So Peter likes a lesbian? What does this have to do with Rainie? Is Rainie a lesbian then?”

“You got it all wrong,” Mike shook his hand in front of his face. “The ‘girl’ is really a guy and he likes girls. Rainie’s perfectly straight; she’s just there because she’s trying to reason with Peter that he is love with a straight man.”

“OH!” Rainie’s father nodded.

Now back to the conversation…

Joe kept arguing, “You want the truth; I’ll give it to you!”

“Prove it,” Peter smugly said, crossing his arms. “Kiss Rainie.”

“WHAT!!!” they both said in shock.

“I am not kissing…it,” Rainie said pointing at Joe.

“The lesbian,” Joe nodded in reassurance.

“Whatever you are,” Rainie sighed.

“And I’m not kissing her,” Joe refused.

“Then that means you aren’t a lesbian,” Peter replied. “Meaning I have the right to pursuit you, am I correct?”

“Do the words ‘restraining order’ mean anything to you!?” Joe hissed.

“But I am in love with you!” he whined.

“I can’t stand you!” Joe yelled.

“I can change,” Peter persistently nodded.

“Unless you start wearing pumps and stop growing facial hair, this relationship will never work,” Joe reasoned.

“I can do that!” Peter reassured.

Scary thought. What men wouldn’t do for love?

“If you can prove to me that I have no chance with you, then I will leave you alone. I will never bother you again.” Peter bluntly replied. “If you can prove it.”

Joe looked at Rainie with a desperate plea in his eyes.

“I’m not willing to prove it!” Rainie refused. “No way!”

“Rainie!” Joe nudged her arm. “I’d kiss you if you had a problem!”

“Joe, don’t you understand that that would BE the problem!” she hissed.

Oh no, Ariel thought. Joe has to kiss Rainie? Poor Rainie…poor Joe. Suddenly her heart started to beat uncontrollably. She was more nervous than Joe or Rainie at that time. What would happen to Rainie and Mike’s relationship, if she kissed Joe? What would happen to Joe and her own friendship if he kissed Rainie? It was just a bad idea.

“Fine!” Rainie reluctantly replied.

Fine!? How could she be willing to do this? Ariel’s thoughts kept pounding in her head. Everything was going to go straight to hell if Rainie kissed Joe. I mean, she would be doing this in front of Mike. What was she thinking?!

“Ok, I’m ready,” Rainie sighed.

Slowly, and above all unwillingly, both Joe and Rainie cringed as they closed in their faces…closer and closer…and that was when damage control jumped in!

“Oh she is SOOO not kissing my man!”

Ariel promptly jumps out of her booth and runs over to Joe blocked Rainie’s lips from ever coming anywhere near Joe and that’s when it happened; the crowd gave another gasp, while others held their breath unable to speak. Grabbing him by his frilly collar, Ariel took her chance, and forcefully kissed Joe.

“HOLY MACARONI!” roared Mike.

“WAIT, who’s that?! Who’s that frumpy looking man that just came into the scene?” Rainie’s father asked curiously.

“What would be DAMAGE CONTROL!” he happily replied as he nodded in approval.

 

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